For Smut Marathon, Round 10, I asked the writers to revisit a story they'd written for an earlier challenge.
This is what I told them:
First off—wow! Aren’t you all pleased? You are the final four! There will be two more challenges and then we’ll have first, second, and third place winners for the Smut Marathon 2010/2011! Woo and also hoo!
Now to the fun part. For challenge #10, I’m asking you to revisit one of the stories you wrote in the first eight challenges. Take your choice of stories and extend the piece to a full-length: 2500-3500K.
Why? Because as a writer, I believe editing is one of the most important skills you can have. Where could you have put more description? What dialogue is missing? How can you make the piece more exciting?
The writers have turned in their pieces, and since the stories are so long, I'd like to post each one individually — leave the story up for a few days — then post the next. Then I'll run the poll. I'm posting the pieces in the order received. I also am posting the stories with the authors' names, because we'd revealed previously which author wrote each short one. Here is the first — drum roll, please! I'm going to post the original story first, and then the revised and expanded piece second.
In the Middle
by Emma Hillman
“Just a little bit more, honey,” Joe said, his fingers clenching on her hips.
“I…” she gasped. “I don’t know.”
“Just breathe, darling,” Dylan’s breath brushed her overly warm face. “Let go.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” she growled. She was out of her depth here, sandwiched between the two men. It had sounded like a great idea; that is until they’d actually started doing it. And now she was stuck, her pussy stretched around Dylan’s cock, her rose forced open by Joe’s tentative but unrelenting thrusts. “Oh God.”
“Shh.” Dylan’s mouth found hers, his kiss meant to make her forget about his friend’s intrusion.
It didn’t really work. Not until he slipped his right hand between their sweaty bodies and curved his palm over her stomach.
When one long finger extended and pressed against her clit, she nearly jumped out of her skin.
It was all Joe needed. His cock slipped inside her, the pressure unlike anything she’d ever felt. It hurt. It also felt odd. But Dylan kept on caressing her, both whispering dirty little things to her, teasing her with what they’d do next, how good she felt, how fucking hot she was. In the end, she obeyed and let go.
Fully.
They thrust in unison. Bit. Fucked. Kissed. Sucked. They made her theirs.
When she came, a bright explosion of stars behind her closed eyelids, she screamed out their names, one after the other. And they came inside her, one after the other.
In the Middle (revised)
by Emma Hillman
Erin smiled. She’d never thought she’d like being with two men so much, but then Joe and Dylan were both very nice. Very boyfriend material. She shook her head at the silly thought, not wanting to encourage her mind on that path. She knew this was only for one night.
But God, it was exciting. Because it wasn’t just them touching her, it was them touching each other and touching her. It was her touching them while they compared their cocks and the way their balls hung. It was her kissing one then the other. It was her making them turn around so she could admire their butts. She traced one with her fingertips then the other, earning herself crude comments and a laugh or two.
She tugged on Joe’s hair and pulled him down for another kiss. His lips and tongue tasted of her still, and as she crawled onto his lap, she felt her insides start to pulse again. They moved into the position they were in earlier, with Dylan at her back while she straddled his friend. But this time, they all knew where this was leading…
Joe leaned down on the bed so she could slide up his body a little, his cock nudging her inner lips open. He felt so damn hard against her she wondered how long he’ll last. She rubbed herself up and down his length, coating him with her juices until Dylan’s face was there. Yes, there.
He started playing with them, tentative licks on his friend’s cock, stronger ones on her pussy lips. “Mmm, I can taste you both now,” he gleefully called out before forcing her up a little more.
She pushed on her hands and adjusted her position, forcing her butt higher up in the air. Dylan seemed to like that as his lips found the curve of one cheek, nipping the tender skin and making her yelp. He laughed and moved back down, the bristles of his five o’clock shadow leaving a red mark where he’d just been.
Joe tensed beneath her and she gave him a look, guessing his friend had graduated from tentative touches to full-on caresses. A tongue slipped between her drenched folds and tickled her clit before moving again. Oh God, he was going from one to the other in a never-ending array of licks and sucks.
She scrambled to hold on to Joe’s shoulders and pushed her butt even higher. She knew what she wanted. She wasn’t sure she could say it out loud but she felt ready. All right, fine, she could do this. She could tell them, right? They knew they were going to do it anyway, so why not now? Because she’d never been good at telling men what to do in bed, that’s why. Argh! Come on, Erin! These men were all about fun in bed. They wouldn’t comment if you ask for what you want. They’ll probably even praise you!
Okay then. She opened her mouth and blurted out, “Play with my ass.” Joe stilled, his chest hard beneath her crushed breasts. She licked her lips, and added, “Huh, please?”
One hand slapped her right butt cheek, Dylan asking, “You want it now?”
Now was not the time to fake not understanding his meaning. “Yes.”
“You want us both now?”
“Yes.” Oh yes, please yes. I want it now! That part though she didn’t say out loud, mostly because she was pretty sure it would end on a very loud scream.
“Let’s switch then,” Joe said, his voice husky, almost gruff.
She dutifully fell off of him, landing on her back on the mattress that was now sheet-less. She remained still as they surrounded her with their hard bodies, caressing her breasts so that her nipples rose once again, parting her legs so they could see whether she was aroused enough.
“Shit, look at that.”
She realized her eyes had closed but she didn’t open them. It was weirdly erotic to be able to listen to them talk like this. It was even more erotic to know they were talking about her…
“She’s so fucking wet. I can’t wait to fuck her.”
“I can’t wait to take her ass.”
“Me too.”
“I thought you said you were too big?”
“I might be, but once she’s had you, maybe I’ll fit in there. We’ll see. First though, we need
to prep her.”
She felt her heartbeat accelerate, knew her legs had tensed too at their words. Fingers dipped inside her, pressing and rubbing against her inner wall until her G-spot came to life. Her hips jerked up, making them laugh.
“Hold on tight, baby.”
“Oh God,” she couldn’t help but moan.
“Not God, no, just us.”
“Very funny,” she muttered but her lips twitched.
“I thought so too,” Dylan cheekily replied. “Do you have any lube, Erin?”
She opened her eyes at that and looked at him. “No. Do you?”
“Shit! I knew I should have brought some!”
“It’s okay.” Joe patted his friend on the shoulder. “I’m sure we can find something else.”
“Like what?”
“Oil. Cream. Anything that’s slippery really.”
“Baby, what do you think would be best?”
She blinked and tried to remember what was in her own home. She was sure she had something that would work. She’d tried anal before and she knew for sure they’d need lube of some kind. But usually her boyfriends had come prepared. Ex-boyfriends, that is. Damn it, Erin, focus! “Huh, I think I have baby oil in the bathroom.”
“I’ll get it.”
Dylan and she both watched Joe leave the room. When they turned back to look at each other, they burst out laughing. They’d been checking him out, both probably marveling at his nice ass.
“He is very handsome,” she admitted out loud.
“That, he is.”
“Are you sure this is only for tonight?” she asked, her voice a lot lower this time.
Dylan’s gaze locked on hers. “I’m sure. I value our friendship too much to fuck it up. I know he’s not bi. He might be curious tonight because I’ve kinda forced him into it, but it won’t last.”
Joe strode back into the room, interrupting their conversation. That was too bad really as she wanted to ask Dylan why he thought tonight wouldn’t change things. Can you really go back to being friends once you’ve been lovers? She didn’t think so. She just hoped she was wrong, for all their sakes.
* * * *
She looked down and tried to concentrate on Dylan’s hand, the deep cocoa color of his skin such a sharp contrast to her own milky white skin. He was drawing circles around her left nipple, tracing her areola with faint touches before tweaking the nub into a hardened peak. He was playing with her, trying to make her forget what Joe was doing. She was not entirely sure why it was so much more difficult this time around. She’d done this before. She had. She hadn’t loved it before, true, but she’d never resisted like this either.
It was as if her body was rebelling, her rose refusing to let them through. She groaned, her nose crinkling as a finger pushed against the tight rim of muscles. She didn’t feel pleasure, only pain, and it bugged her, damn it! Eager to turn things around, she grabbed hold of Dylan’s nape and pulled him down. She kissed him like she hadn’t kissed him earlier. She bit his full lower lip and rejoiced in the moan that echoed in her throat. She sucked on his tongue and battled with him when he did the same. She found herself on top of him, her thighs widening as she straddled his lap.
His erection brushed her folds but it was too soon. Instead, she let go of his mouth and trailed her lips downwards. She nipped the bristly skin of his jaw. She bit his earlobe before sucking it into her mouth to lave it better. She placed a sweet kiss on the sensitive skin of his neck. And another one. And another one. Until she reached that tendon or muscle, or whatever it was that was calling out her name on his shoulder. She bit him, more forcefully this time, wondering inwardly if the hickey would show on his dark skin. She had no idea but right now, she couldn’t have cared less.
He growled her name, his hands finding her hips, squeezing. She should have known he would do something like this but she hadn’t thought he was that muscled. His arms bunched as he lifted her up, his cock finding her entrance just before he let go. He impaled her, the sudden pressure making her yelp and hold on to him. It was a shock and yet it wasn’t. She was wet so it didn’t hurt, but he was big enough she felt full. Oh hell, if I’m full now, how am I gonna be with another man back there?
Before she could ask that question out loud, Joe said, his voice amused, “Guess you decided it was time to party.”
“Blame Erin!” Dylan muttered between clenched teeth. “I was one bite away from coming all over her.”
“Really?” She looked at his face.
“Yeah, baby. You were far too hot for me.”
She tilted her head. “But I… I barely did anything.”
He smiled. “Don’t sell yourself short. You were a fury, and I loved it. I want to come inside you though.”
“Oh.” She blinked. That was a very nice compliment, wasn’t it? Cold oil drifted between her butt cheeks, reminding her of what they were supposed to be doing. “Joe?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“You okay?”
He laughed. “I’m fine. Hard as a rock, but fine. Okay, sweetheart, lean down on Dylan for me.
Let him hold your weight. I want you to focus only on me and what I’m doing, all right?”
Hold her weight? Was he crazy? “Huh, about that…”
Dylan’s hands slid up her back and forced her down until her nose was buried in the crook of his neck. “We know what we’re doing. Just relax, will ya?”
“Relax? That’s easy for you to say!” she mumbled against his warm skin but he ignored her. She was pretty sure he was right too. Damn it. Okay, she could do this. She’d asked them to do this, and so, she forced herself to loosen up. Letting out a heavy breath, she let go of her hold on Dylan, letting him take her body’s weight. She flinched a little inwardly, wondering if he’d stop and tell her she was too heavy. Shit, what if he did?
“Erin, stop it,” his voice was in her ear. “I’ve got you, baby.” As if to prove it to her, he ran his hands all over her back, not so much as caressing but massaging. She relaxed under his palms and realized he was touching her ass a bit too late. He held her open for his friend; the one whose touch was a lot more assured and, well, precise.
Whatever they’d done, it seemed to have worked. She was calm as she felt Joe’s fingers slipping inside her, scissoring her opening wider. It pinched a little but the pain of earlier was gone. She sighed in relief and buried her head further against Dylan. She kissed the spot where his neck met his shoulder and listened to his small groan. It made her smile.
“Three fingers,” Joe announced behind her. “I think it’s time. Erin, are you okay?”
She nearly tensed but forced her muscles to unwind before her body destroyed everything they’d just done. “Yeah,” she managed to utter.
“Okay. Dylan?” She felt him nod, the movement pushing his chin into the top of her head for a second. “All right. I’ll add some more lube and we’ll be good to go. Why don’t you fuck her a little so she’s wet all over?”
Joe had barely finished his sentence that Dylan was already grabbing hold of her waist and rocking her up. She struggled to stay on top of him, her befuddled brain wondering whether she should start moving too or lay all loosened up for Joe’s entrance. Too many choices! In the end, she didn’t move and let Dylan thrust into her. His thick cock felt good but what felt even better was the way his pubic bone brushed against her clit. It gave his love-making an extra kick, something she probably hadn’t really needed but hey, it wasn’t like she was gonna say no!
Dylan stopped abruptly, making her groan her disapproval. It didn’t last long, however, when she realized Joe’s cock was pressing against her rose. Pushing and pushing. She closed her eyes and told herself to push back, remembering the way it’d felt in the past.
“Just a little bit more, honey,” Joe said, his fingers clenching on her hips.
“I…” she gasped. “I don’t know.”
“Just breathe, darling,” Dylan’s breath brushed her overly warm face. “Let go.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” she growled. She was out of her depth here, sandwiched between the two men. It had sounded like a great idea; that is until they’d actually started doing it. And now she was stuck, her pussy stretched around Dylan’s cock, her rose forced open by Joe’s tentative but unrelenting thrusts. “Oh God.”
“Shh.” Dylan’s mouth found hers, his kiss meant to make her forget about his friend’s intrusion.
It didn’t really work. Not until he slipped his right hand between their sweaty bodies and curved his palm over her stomach. When one long finger extended and pressed against her clit, she nearly jumped out of her skin.
It was all Joe needed. His cock slipped inside her, the pressure unlike anything she’d ever felt. It hurt. It also felt odd. But Dylan kept on caressing her, both whispering dirty little things to her, teasing her with what they’d do next, how good she felt, how fucking hot she was. In the end, she obeyed and let go.
Fully.
They thrust in unison. Bit. Fucked. Kissed. Sucked. They made her theirs.
When she came, a bright explosion of stars behind her closed eyelids, she screamed out their names, one after the other. And they came inside her, one after the other.
* * * *
It’d been a night unlike any other, and as Erin watched the two men step onto her front porch, she gulped and fought the urge to call them back. This was it. Once they were in their cars, they’d go back to being friends. The next time she’d see them, she’d kiss their cheeks and joke with them, but never again would she feel their tongues tangled around hers, their cocks stretching her wide, their bodies rubbing her raw from the inside out.
She recalled her earlier conversation with Dylan and hoped he’d been right. She wasn’t that confident about how Joe would cope with having let his friend touch him, or how he’d touched him and relished it too.
Pasting a fake smile on her face, she waved at them and watched their headlights disappear in the distance. It would be light soon, and she needed to get ready for work. She had a busy day ahead but first, she needed to find a way to cover up the hickeys decorating her neck and collarbone. She turned around and closed the door behind her, a smile tilting her bruised lips.
What was that expression, she tried to remember as she hurried to the bathroom. Ah yes. Laissez les bons temps rouler…
XXX,
Alison
P.S. Love, love, love this photo by Riendo, of course!
